How many of you read this title and may have thought, “Ya right!”
Our lives are ever changing. We are learning we can only control the relationship we have with ourselves and even then… we resist being responsible for ourselves.
Ever experienced days when you couldn’t seem to get out of your own way? Possibly noticing yourself feeling, stressed, impatient, annoyed, cranky or a bit like victim versus a victor?
Often, I find myself referring to my dog-eared book, Happy for No Reason, 7 Steps for Being Happy from the Inside Out, written by Marci Shimoff, New York Times best-selling author. Shimoff outlines steps for living sharing stories and exercises for the reader which result in a happier, healthier life in mind, body and spirit.
Step one is referred to as the foundation. The focus is on taking personal responsibility for your own happiness. I loved one of the exercises that can be played at home or at work. It’s called the “Blame, Shame, Complain Game” and raises the awareness of how our habits and behaviors rob us from our daily happiness. Providing everyone with an opportunity to become increasingly aware of our everyday communication of our thoughts and actions with ourselves and others.
What are your thoughts telling you? Do you find yourself, a loved one, co-worker or friend being stuck in this “happiness robber behavior”?
Good news, we do have control over our thoughts which may sometimes be filled with judgement, fear, doubt, shame or anxiety keeping us stuck in a track that does not serve us. We can choose another way, a new thought, changing an old habit.
Are you willing?
How does this apply to your relationship with money?Similar feelings? We do take ourselves everywhere! Have you noticed?
Are you carrying some of the same disempowering thoughts; blame, shame, complain, fear, lack, and worry as it relates to money? Notice how often you may have thoughts of not having enough. This is a feeling and carries into all our affairs.
Take a moment to be grateful for what you do have; a safe place to live, food, family, friends, health, healing, animals, a flower, a sunny day, our sight and the appreciation for the money we do have. There are so many things we can recall that can feed our heart and soul. We are never alone when we remember there is a Divine Source guiding us.
Even if your past experiences were not good, did they have a way of working out? Sometimes, even better than we could have imagined.
What benefit do we get from all the sleepless nights and worry about life’s challenges?
My experience is being more tired the next day! When we try to figure out everything with our mind, we lose trust and connection to something greater than ourselves. Even those of us who may pride themselves on being good stewards of our money may have beliefs of scarcity and lack versus abundance.
I am enough, I do enough, I have more than enough. The true essence of you is who you are.
As a baby coming into this world, your innocence and enough-ness was perfect. Outside circumstances, growing up, receiving messages like money doesn’t grow on trees, we don’t have enough was drilled in our minds like an old tape that played over and over. Or, when you had a dream to take a risk to follow your passion, some caring adult said it was foolish, you needed to have a good job for security, make enough money and to raise a family. Prompting your abandonment of a heart’s desire. Often, our relationship with money is how we interpreted others’ perceptions about money.
Years ago, I attended a workshop and the speaker commented “Life is all about relationships.” I understood that concept. And, then the next question, “What relationship do you have with your money?” Up until then, I had not really thought about relationships beyond people.
How do you treat it? How do you talk to it or feel about it? Hmmmmm… that opened me to greater consideration and thought. At that time, I was not giving conscious thought about how I was relating to money.
Take your wallet or purse out. What does it look like? Is money folded and poking out every which way? Are the bills all disorganized? Are there other papers and receipts all smooshed together? Are you treating your physical relationship with money kindly? Do you open your wallet and start complaining you don’t have enough and afraid of letting go of what you have?
What we do matters. What we think matters. What we say matters.
Just for today, what would it feel like to have enough in your wallet for what you need in that given moment? Maybe you feel less stressed, your shoulders more relaxed.
In Tosha Silver’s book, It’s Not Your Money, Silver asks the reader to be open to a realm of possibility. Thinking differently and allowing ourselves to be grateful for all that we have and can do. What if there was another way versus grasping, fearing and chasing abundance? Silver adds, “these thoughts of gratitude generate a higher vibration of abundance. You cannot do over the past.
If you were not responsible for your choices, you can re-choose and shift moving forward.
Ellen Rogin, author of the New York Times Bestselling book, Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality, offers 5 ways to shift your money thinking.
I like to remind myself of these daily practices to erase negative money talk and share them with you.
- Notice: First step, pay attention to what you are thinking or saying to yourself about money. Most of the time we believe our thoughts which often are not even true. One clue when identifying your unhelpful thoughts is to notice when you are feeling nervous or bad, the thought you had just before you felt that way. Often just taking the time to notice helps you to become more aware of the triggering thought.
- Clear: When you catch yourself with the unhelpful thought about your money or saying something you really don’t want to happen like” I don’t have enough” then stop and say “cancel, clear” Cancel that thought and clear it away and replace with a new thought you would prefer. I am enough, I grateful for all that I have, etc.
- Appreciation /Thanks: Have a daily practice of gratitude. It is powerful and works. Focus on what is working well in your life. We get to choose how we look at every situation in our lives.
- Share: Generosity and giving precedes prosperity. Giving is not always about money, it can be your time and talent to help others. Sharing a kind thought of assistance helps the shift of energy.
- Pause: Change focus, go out into nature, take a deep cleansing breath, it doesn’t cost anything, and it interrupts your unhelpful thought pattern.
We don’t know what the future holds. Why are we choosing to stay feeling stressed and anxious when we can begin to reprogram our limiting beliefs and begin to take a different action? Maybe it’s writing your money down, so you become more aware of how you are spending it.
Be gentle with yourself and notice the kinder way you speak to yourself and others. Be open and willing to allow more loving thoughts to combat the old thought patterns of lack, not enough. You are free to change, be open to receive all of life’s gifts that up until now, may have missed passing you by.
