“The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a love of what is.”
– Baruch Spinoza
Have you ever asked yourself what is LOVE?
When asked that question, we have many different responses based on our personal experiences. Definitions include: an intense feeling of deep affection, or a great interest and pleasure in something. As a verb, it is a deep feeling from someone or something, or to like or enjoy something very much. Is there more?
The Course of Miracles, shares with us that there are only two feelings: Love or Fear. That certainly opens us to a much larger more universal language expressing Love.
It’s time to take Love out of the box!
We observed one expression of love from the commercial side in stores and social media. I can remember as a little girl, my Dad, for Valentine’s Day would buy me a heart-shaped box of chocolates with a big pink bow, and my mother received a similar box with a big red bow. As a young child I was delighted with this beautiful colored box, not to mention the yummy chocolates inside. In my mind there was a different kind of love that a parent had for a child, versus a romantic love of a spouse or partner, or love of a sport, beauty or food.
What was your experience of defining love?
As children we learned that gifts became one way of showing you loved someone. Additionally, certain behaviors, helping or pleasing others, getting good grades or staying out of trouble were all different ways we received attention which often, got labeled as love. We learned to respond or do things certain ways to feel or receive love from others.
As I got older, I realized that I was keeping love compartmentalized and judged where and when was appropriate to demonstrate or even generically use the word. Up until then I had not expanded my understanding of “Being Love”. Loving oneself and self-love was a shift in my perspective. Learning to love yourself, your own self-worth, a born given right filled with possibilities wonder and awe. I often think about a new born, innocent, open, vulnerable and being the essence of love. The truth is we have “learned patterns of behaviors and thoughts” that may have minimized our openness to the Universal Law of Love.
“How you love yourself is how to teach others to love you”
– Rupi Kaur
“True self-care is not bath salts and chocolate cake, it’s making the choice to build a life you don’t need to escape from.”
– Brianna Wiest
A New York Times best-selling author, James Van Praagh, writes about the Power of Love and the importance of loving yourself unconditionally. He reminds us that this “truly is a tough one. The quality of love you give out is only as good as the quality of love you give to yourself.” When you realize that love of self is necessary to love another. We can only give what we have.
What are you doing for your own self-love?
There are thousands of ways we love someone or something. Love evokes a feeling that comes from inside of us. We respond with words and/or actions to declare its impact. A beautiful sunset, an amazing flower, a precious pet, freshly brewed coffee or baked goodies, a personal loving touch with compassion are all simple examples that might bring a loving memory or smile to your face.
What does Love out of the Box look like for you?
What does it look like as you integrate the energy from mind, body and spirit?
Until we are willing to let go of the old stories, old patterns of thought and limiting beliefs, we carry stories of hurt, resentments, and betrayal like a back pack that we have forgotten to take off. Where is the love in those experiences?
I love Byron Katie’s book entitled, Loving What Is. In Katie’s work she shares a process of inquiry (referred to as The Work), of asking four questions: Is it true? Can I absolutely know it is true?
How do I react when I think of that thought? Who would you be without the thought? This process helps us to watch our thoughts and to see how we still hold on to what is no longer serving us and certainly keeps us from Loving ourselves and others from the inside out.
Love is universal. We are all energy and get to choose where we put our thoughts and attention. It opens us to the opportunity of something greater than ourselves and to know and to trust that we can love ourselves. We are worthy and more than enough.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”
– Dr. Maya Angelou
Be gentle with yourself this month and open your heart to love.
