Have you ever had something to do and put it off?
Maybe writing your blog, decluttering or organizing your drawers or closet, paying bills, resisting healthier eating and exercise or making that difficult phone call?
Here’s one example that most of us can relate to… completing our taxes!
Congratulations! to those for whom have signed, sealed and delivered them! Hopefully you feel a sense of relief, freedom and joy which fills your heart and mind. Last year, I felt that freedom and sense of accomplishment. This year, it feels like a struggle to get out of my own way to complete them! It becomes more painful to think about something that needs to be done than being gentle with myself and taking one step at a time.
What does resistance look like before you to commit the time and action needed?
Often, the energy of distraction sweeps us from one day into the next and then next. What I noticed is carrying around those conversational thoughts of judgment in my mind. The saboteur of avoidance, judgement and procrastination are having a field day at my expense.
Where is the love for myself in this conversation?!?!
One may define procrastination as the act of delaying or postponing tasks or activities, often to the point of discomfort or disadvantage. It is a common phenomenon that affects people of all ages and can have various underlying causes, including anxiety, perfectionism, lack of motivation, or fear of failure. We learned these behaviors as children. Take out the garbage, clean your room, do your homework, to name a few. We learned well.
Can you relate? Why do we really avoid action?
Shirzad Chamine, a New York Times Best-Selling author, of Positive Intelligence, provides the reader with tools to identify and conquer common saboteurs such as Judgment, Controller, Victim, Avoider and Pleaser. He states “that all stress is generated by our saboteur lying to us”.
In his book, Chamine offers techniques to minimize our thoughts that no longer serve us. He provides physical strategies, called PQ reps, to eliminate the stress and worrying and to switch to a higher thought vibration, called the Sage perspective.
Everything can be converted into a gift and opportunity for oneself and others. We can bring more empathy and compassion for ourselves and others as we focus to envision, activate and invigorate a desired outcome. Applying this practice daily helps to reduce the resistance that has, up until now been a long pattern of thought or behavior.
Emotional saboteurs can have a significant impact on our ability to achieve our goals by triggering procrastination. Emotional saboteurs are negative thought patterns or beliefs that undermine our self-confidence and motivation, making it difficult to act and follow through on tasks.
To overcome emotional saboteurs and the resulting procrastination, it’s important to identify and challenge these negative thought patterns. In addition to the techniques mentioned in Chamine’s book, you may be using other tools such as reframing negative beliefs and replacing them with positive affirmations, seeking support from a coach or an accountability partner, using mindfulness techniques to stay present and focused on the task at hand.
Years ago, I remember reading Cheryl Richardson’s book, Extreme Self-Care. Richardson offers strategies for overcoming procrastination.
Here are a few of the self-care tips designed for physical and emotional self-care and compassion:
- Set a deadline. Let it inspire you to get started now. Although we think this may increase stress, this helps you to feel you are starting a plan and to act.
- Seek emotional support. Ask someone who you know has your best interest at heart, and who might gently check in on you to be sure you are on track. Also plan to celebrate when you have completed the task.
- Set a start date. Give yourself time to prepare and to collect the information or resources you will need. Allowing time to prepare gives you more confidence to start. Sometimes when we plunge into a project without a plan we get frustrated, anxious and overwhelmed.
- Set boundaries. What environment do you need to create for yourself for an easier flow and ease for completion without interruptions? Turn your cellphone off, close your door, or minimize unwanted disruptions. No is a complete sentence.
- Take frequent breaks. The push through to the end mentality, is self-defeating. It forms a negative relationship with the project completion and a feeling that fuels procrastination in the future. Stay hydrated and, if possible get some fresh air and sunlight.
- Know your payoff. When the project, activity, or action has been completed, how do you feel? Peace of mind, taxes done, an organized space, the mental judge can stop beating yourself up. If we begin with the end in mind, we will have an opportunity to feel so much better about ourselves.
Some of you may have heard the expression “How do you eat an elephant?” One bite at a time.
When I would be faced with a challenge or project that felt overwhelming, I would feel stress in my neck and shoulders. At times feeling the urgency, I may even unconsciously hold my breath. Years later, I have learned better coping mechanisms and tools to face life’s opportunities. Practicing them are key. The good news… I reminded myself these practices and finished my taxes! Celebrate and now for the closets, I am on a roll!
No matter what opportunity you are facing, you get to choose how to engage and interact. In those stressful moments. interrupt your judging thoughts, take a deep breath and quiet your mind. Focusing more on taking several conscious breaths. Be open, gentle and caring for yourself.
Believe in yourself.
